well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
