youre lurking in front of me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
