Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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