I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
