i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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