Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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