wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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