we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
