I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
