Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
are you so shy because you have an std?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
