i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
