Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
His nipple licking is glorious
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