Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Too much gin, very little bucket
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize