I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
