Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
