chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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