Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
