doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
