I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
