You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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