maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
