Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
