just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
