'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
