Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
