did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
