id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
