you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he was CRYING into my vagina
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
