Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
