It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
only if we run a train.
done.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
