I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
