how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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