i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
