I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
