So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
