Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
