What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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