So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
