yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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