if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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