Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
