I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
