i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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