If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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