Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Alive.
So much puke
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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