I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
