singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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