I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize