I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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