I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
