morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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