that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you would pick up someone in the library
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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