Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
