I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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