He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
