I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
