nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
