I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
