love makes seman taste better
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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