You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
