So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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