turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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