I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
